The Observer Newspapers | It Goes Without Saying

July 18, 2008

It Goes Without Saying

By Ron Culberson
Humor Columnist

I may be going out on a limb here but if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. There's something wrong with the world we live in. Since a picture paints a thousand words, I'll try to paint a broad stroke without throwing the baby out with the bath water. It's plain as day to me that the world is going to hell in a hand basket. And even though what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, I refuse to go along for the ride.

Let's start with politics. When it comes to politicians, no news is good news. I'm willing to open this can of worms because the more things change, the more they stay the same. Politicians, however, want us to think that they're different from one another. Like apples to oranges. Let's be honest. Two politicians, whether liberal, conservative or moderate, are like two peas in a pod. Same old, same old. I guess you just can't teach an old dog new tricks. The grass is always greener on their side and they have a perpetual axe to grind with their opponents. My recommendation is that if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

However, if it was just the wrangling, I could live with it. But, politicians always bite off more than they can chew by promising us the moon. They count their chickens before they hatch, leading us to believe something good is just around the corner. And while good things come to those who wait, I don't have that much time. Occasionally we see progress but usually, political leaders can't see the forest for the trees. Instead, they appear busy as bees doing nothing. Around and around it goes and where it stops, nobody knows.

Another concern I have is with our so-called role models. You can't always judge a book by its cover especially when getting to the character of celebrities, athletes and business leaders. Beauty may only be skin deep, but integrity doesn't even scratch the surface on these folks. I'm probably preaching to the choir, but I'd love to see these role models turn over a new leaf. Don't they know they're walking on thin ice when they say one thing and do another? What goes around comes around. In the heat of the moment, they just don't get it. They should realize how lucky they are that their ships have come in. By being cream of the crop, they set the standard for the rest of us. Instead, they get three sheets to the wind, burn their bridges and cut off their noses to spite their faces. If they occasionally have a bad day, there's no use crying over spilt milk. If God gives them a few lemons, they should make lemonade, not whiskey sours.

Finally, we must do something about the economy. It's been said that money doesn't grow on trees, but it sure thrives in oil fields. I used to laugh at all the tiny cars in Europe but now I think they're the best thing since sliced bread. Currently, our country is between a rock and a hard place and my hope is that there's more than one way to skin this cat. Every cloud has a silver lining and we just need to work together to find a solution instead of continually robbing Peter to pay Paul. We must address this financial situation one day at a time because the meter is running. My biggest fear is that when I'm 90, there will be nothing left. Of course, I have enough to worry about today so I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it.

Essentially, we live in a crazy, mixed-up world. On the one hand, we should let sleeping dogs lie and learn to live and let live. On the other hand, we need to strike while the iron is hot to keep up with the Joneses. Either way, haste makes waste because Rome wasn't built in a day. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Patience is our virtue and if we have faith, whatever will be, will be.

Perhaps I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. While there is more bad news in the world than you can shake a stick at, today really is the first day of the rest of our lives. So maybe the best advice isÉdon't worry, be happy.

Now put that in your pipe and smoke it. Not really, of course, that's just a cliche. Until next time, just humor me.